Trips By Sam

  When I studied abroad in Europe it was, “Haven’t you seen that movie Taken ?”  Then, when I moved to Colombia, “But didn’t you watch Narcos ?”  I hiked the Camino de Santiago in Spain and heard, “A girl was killed on the Camino a few years ago.  The killer made fake arrows, luring her to his house.  Come to think of it, she was an American, like you.”  Now, it’s about the missing hiker (female, of course,) in nearby New Hampshire.  And she was even with her dog. Young women everywhere, disappearing and dying.  Or at least, that’s what Hollywood horrors and the news spotlights, even earning the term “missing white woman syndrome” by social scientists.   But it’s also a reality of which I’m warily aware. “It’s different as a woman,” I lamented to a fellow, male van-lifer.  “Has anyone ever told you that you shouldn’t go alone?  Asked if you had a taser?  Shared unsolicited, scary stories of solo men vanishing?...

“I just want a partner who can go to Japan for a bit, but is also fine with me staying for a few months to do my own thing,” I’d once lamented to a friend. “You’re looking for a unicorn,” the Scorpio had snorted.  “What guy is gonna be ok with you doing that?” I’d sighed in agreement, swallowing half-baked hopes of ever attaining such a magical relationship.   Years later, I haven’t found a unicorn.   But I’ve discovered a creature even more astounding.   I wasn’t looking for a love affair; I just wanted to hike around Red River Gorge in Kentucky.  So we did, as friends, my guard up against romance.  In this illusory safe space, I revealed to him my oddities, jibber-jabbering away sans sheepishness or bra.  Without an agenda for developing dating attachment, we built a foundation for simple, genuine companionship.  I admired his glittery kindness and sunshine spirit.  How, empowered with self-awareness, he designed a lifestyle ...